Maintenance Really this Time and Spain

Okay, so maybe my previous post wasn’t entirely true, there are a couple of things on my resolution list. Less resolutions though, more ‘things that are likely and less likely to happen this year but still might’…

  1. Go to court
  2. Go to Spain

This pic is for dramatic effect, I won’t have to put my coat over my head. No one will be taking photo’s until the victory party.


This is a map of Spain. The whole of Spain. Every inch of it.

Yes, I have travel plans for 2013.  The difference between these two locations though is that one is two kilometres from my house, and the other is about 20 000 kilometres from my house. One is a holiday destination the other is more like hell in a holiday destination.  In my opinion anyway – this is not about that time you inadvertently got mixed up with the Spanish Mafia.

So, a little explanation about my choices:


Actually this is not a choice. If you scroll back through my blogging archives or just click here you will find that sometime in 2010 and before he left, my ex-husband and I had a delightful mediation session or what I sometimes refer to as ‘A Three Hour Marriage Summary In Four Parts’:

A short period of civility

Heated words exchanged

Promises made

Promises broken

Three years later.

I have managed to get through 1 more mediation session, 3 lawyers visits, 4 lawyers letters, (since the lawyer and mediation fees almost bankrupted me I decided I could do it without them, well my bank balance decided it) so  4 visits to Simonstown Magistrates Court,  28 phone-calls to the Maintenance Officer,  3 unconfirmed court dates, and 1 lost subpoena somewhere in Pretoria.  I am still not an inch closer to

a) A confirmed court date

b) A fair maintenance agreement

c) Affording a decent haircut

My inability to follow through on things to the end (except 5 seasons of True Blood and Ken Follett’s World Without End) dictates that I should’ve given up already sometime last year, but maintenance is a big deal and kids aren’t cheap.  He hasn’t increased his maintenance in four years. Four years. An entire presidential term.  Neither has he paid for the extra ten days I now have the kids since my ‘every second weekend’ of bar hopp ..erm fixing stuff around the house was ripped from me, which amounts to 240 days or a full 8 months. I know he can pay (surely his vet bill is paid off by now) but he just won’t, and now time is running out because there is baby on its way – his, not mine – gawd! And this changes the game entirely because it means that he will be responsible for three dependents and not two. Cue wretched soundtrack to an eye-rolling cliché. So I need to be in court by May. This means hopefully if all goes well, then by about July I’ll be in


Because I’m turning 40 and well, it’s Spain. Also though, I need a reason to get through all five ‘Teach Yourself Spanish’ CD’s that have been in my car for two years. So far I have learnt to count from uno to dias. But then my car radio was stolen.


Javier Bardem in ‘Vicki Cristina Barcelona’.  If you haven’t seen it then don’t, Spain is overcrowded.

Look, I’m not entirely delusional; I know I’m definitely going to court because I am on first name terms with the Maintenance Officer. She even avoids my calls sometimes, which is cool because breaking personal bests is fun and it ups my call counter which has almost surpassed that time I had to phone Telkom to move an ADSL line, but she can’t avoid me forever.  I’m probably not going to Spain because of food and school fees.

Still – this year, as Calvin said to Hobbes, “I’m just going to pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.”

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2 thoughts on “Maintenance Really this Time and Spain

  1. godintheicu says:

    Brilliant, as usual. I’m rooting for Spain!

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