Today is an anniversary. It’s past exactly one year and two weeks since I last posted something here.
None of my tiny gang of followers (I felt the fleeting power of a cult leader as I typed that) has asked why or where I have been. I suspect its because they’re all living off the ‘no news is good news’ maxim, and if they ask they’ll have to think of sympathetic words to say to the horror/good fortune that has befallen/been bestowed upon me.
I fell into a pit of delusion thinking I could finish something I started.
“Where have you been? What happened with that other thing?”
I am typing up my thesis on Romantic Realism And The Long-Term Neurological Effects of Consistent Cynical Eye-Rolling and the Darcy Syndrome of Disillusionment.
“Congratulations on the adoption of your seventh cat”
I went to Spain and stayed in an internet-free village.
“I’ve been to Spain and there is no such thing…”
I have seen so many lawyers I am now graduating with a Law Degree (watching re-runs of Suits)
I finally met this amazing gu
Okay, this is what really happened.
I went in search of my real parents, Procrastination and Bad Time Management, and we have been catching up ever since.
“What?…you’re looking a little tired…are you okay?”
None of those other things happened except the last one, I have no paperwork and the only hard evidence I have is the fact that I live and breathe. But its true. Also almost all of the one above that. No. The one above the one with a line through it.
Strangely enough, what did happen in my absence was that I got a couple of new followers – (to this blog, not to my commune of belief that all men are islands). Why you would want to hold out hope for someone who clearly had given up is anybody’s guess, but there they were.
The occasional e-mail guilt-reminding me that a commitment to the internet is forever.
A couple from the Americas, someone from Finland and another from Trinidad and Tobago – who one can only assume found themselves here accidentally, much like I sometimes do, and were reaching for the exit cross in the top right hand corner when their hand slipped.
Well, person from a country I can’t locate on a map without squinting and searching for ages because I don’t watch cricket, you’ve brought it back to life.